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Once Upon a Time…

Sunday, February 7, 2010

[Note: please keep in mind the date of this letter and that the "new posts" I refer to in the first part here are posts that I hoped to find on a completely different blog that I was keeping at the time - not this one. ;-)]

I came here to see if there were any new posts – comments to my initial one… listening to Moody Blues “I Know You’re Out There Somewhere” [the title I chose for the blog I originally posted this in] I felt someone walk up behind me – turned to look and no one was there – or so  my eyes could see anyway.  Turned back to the computer, but could still feel a presence behind me, caught a glimpse of a shadow out of the corner of my eye, turned to look, still no one there – that I could see.  Then “Wildest Dreams” started playing and I feel hands – warm hands – on my shoulders???

I’ve felt this before… when I was driving on the interstate one time about 12 years ago. It was summertime and prone to thunderstorms in my area – though I wasn’t used to that, having been from the West Coast originally. I was going along (feeling warmth on my shoulder and right side as I’m typing this, as though someone standing very near me) driving about 80 or 85 mph (standard for me, oops), when all of a sudden spray started coming up onto my windshield…Heavy Downpour

I thought ‘great my coolant system is going out again!’ … I drove on a little ways, same speed, and then all of the sudden it was as if two hands were pressing against my chest firmly like they were trying to stop me – you know like if you’re with a good friend and you’re trying to walk forward and do something stupid how they might put out their hands to stop you – just like that. I thought it was Angels back then, now I’m not so sure.  Of course I suppose that some might interpret your existence as being angelic [clearly I had no idea, lol] … I know who you are though [I thought I did anyway]. Thanks for that back then.  I did slow down, and it was a good thing because the spray on my windshield was just a precursor of what was to come.  A huge downpour, by the time had slowed down to about 50 mph, completely obliterated my view, to which I slowed down to about 25 or 30. I think you saved my life that night. If I’d kept going 80 – 85 I’m nearly certain I would have lost control of my car. It would have been bad. I wonder, as I’m sitting here typing, and feeling your presence behind me if you’re reading … I dunno. Hey, if you are, could you give me a good dream tonight… no the scary one like I had yesterday morning of the metallic black hand reaching out from the midst of a sooty black vapor cloud to try and grab me???? What the hell was that anyway?? Don’t tell me, I’m pretty sure I know.  My bad.  I know – taking chances – I wouldn’t be me otherwise now would I?  Comforting to know you’re still there though. I was afraid for you.  Being subdued against your will is something that I’m afraid bothers me – especially when I feel I am partly to blame. But I guess it takes two to tango, so both to blame, I guess. I remember what you said to me when I ‘voiced” my concerns about ever being able to see you and feeling like time is too long.

“Vanna” … you’re right, “it will pass”. I’ll be patient. Try to be anyway.



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